Meeting the Mexican confirmed to me my theory that there is no such thing as ‘The one’ in that there can be many ‘ones’ – well not perhaps ‘many’ but definitely more than one!
You see, I could easily imagine a future with this lovely man. I could picture our troop of beautiful little mixed-race kids – ¼ Mexican, ¼ German, ¼ St Lucian and ¼ English! I could see us travelling around in a camper van with the family experiencing new places, having new adventures, talking into the night and planning new dreams as we collectively conquered our goals. I would be happy with him. He found me interesting and listened when I spoke. I found him fascinating and inspiring. I knew we’d be good friends. I knew he was solid. An exceptional man.
I am extremely fussy and hardly ever fancy men but as with all fantasies ‘The Mexican’ can of course remain ‘perfect’ in my mind. Our future is solid, certain and unspoilt. We will of course forever find each other engaging and attractive. I won’t ever need to know his bad habits and he won’t ever need to be annoyed or irritated by me. It can remain perfect.
That said, what really inspired me about The Mexican was his approach to life. He was single-minded in wanting to achieve his dreams and live life to the full. He knew that travelling and experiencing new things is what centred him and brought him ‘back to the middle’ when it was needed. I loved his sense of adventure and just the way he seemed to enjoy life. Amongst the million and one things we talked about that night I realised that meeting the ‘right person for you’ is all about having the same outlook on life. Not necessarily the same actual goals and plans (though that does of course help) but it’s about finding someone with the same way of thinking as you. The same approach to life. It is no good being with a ‘settler’ if deep down you’re an ‘adventurer’. That doesn’t mean your family hols are climbing Mount Everest, it just means you’ll understand when your partner feels the need to travel to feel alive or to escape to find a new experience. If you have a similar outlook it can be an adventure you work out together and you won’t feel fazed or threatened by it and neither will they feel trapped or guilty for feeling it.
Meeting the Mexican made me think a lot about what I should and shouldn’t accept and expect in a partner. It was very healing and empowering. The experience at least showed me what is possible in a man. That really are out there not just in the movies!
I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again but he will now always be a part of my journey and a significant part at that.