Why Internet Dating is like IVF….

Warning:  If you are easily offended or have no sense of humour then stop reading now – Black comedy and highly un-politically correct content ahead.

They say longing for a partner is as agonising as longing for a baby as for some it just doesn’t happen ‘naturally’.  And so couples experiencing difficulty conceiving may turn to IVF whereas today’s love forlorn singles have Internet dating!  The more I think about it the parallels seem endless.

We all have those friends who met their spouse and soul-mate as childhood sweethearts and loved happily ever after in effortless bliss and we also know those who ‘held out’ for ‘the one’ and were eventually duly rewarded with their Princess/Knight-in-shining-armour.  Then there are the rest of us: Those of us whose experience if it were a line drawn on a piece of paper would be a kind of tangling, squiggly mess rather than a neat, straight and very pointy arrow! It seems so unfair that some things seem to come so easily and simply for some and are an endless, striving agony for others.

How then is Internet dating like IVF you say?  Well in many ways I answer.

Couples may in some ways feel a small sense of failure at not being able to conceive ‘naturally’ at first and I think many who ‘resort’ to Internet dating probably feel the same (even if they do repeat to themselves ‘modern times, modern methods’).  ‘What’s wrong with me?’ they might think and ‘why is something supposedly so ‘natural’ just not happening for me?’  The processes I guess in themselves are not necessarily artificial – you are still using the same ‘raw materials’ but, you are simply ‘introducing’ them together using a different method to the norm.  Both don’t always work first time and for some it takes a number of attempts which can be draining, painful and disappointing.  They’re also both bloody expensive!

Then there is the success rate.  We’ve all heard the stories of those whose IVF works first time and similarly the tales of people meeting their one true love on their first date with the first person they ‘messaged’ on an internet dating site.  It’s true as more people use these methods the success rates are soaring.

However, there are also those who despite numerous attempts for some reason it just doesn’t work.  They are forced to conclude that perhaps it’s ‘just not meant to be’ for them.  I can’t help wonder if that’s true for some people with a partner.  Statistically there must be some people who just will never meet the ‘right’ person for whatever reason.  Why do we think that it will happen for all of us? Is it really our right?  When we grow up we all assume we will one day meet someone and have babies if we want to.  I don’t think we consider for a moment when we’re young whether we ‘can’ or ‘will’ on either of these options.

I have a friend who due to her upbringing and experience assumes everyone will always meet someone right for them.  My experience and upbringing is unfortunately much more cynical.

And so I’m wondering, what is the ‘partner’ form of adoption?? Get a dog?  A Gay Best friend?  Or maybe 29 cats????