When I was pregnant and read a million books on childbirth and such (and found out all the gross stuff that no one tells you) I remember reading a quote that said something like, ‘Two people are born during childbirth; a baby and a mother’. That quote has stayed with me as it’s very true in many respects; you are a woman and then you become a mother which seems like something entirely different. However, I actually feel we then need help to make the bigger transisiton back into a woman again at some point. We will always be mothers once we have had children, even when they grow and leave us, but I think we have to make a special effort to be re-born again into a woman at some stage. This is in order for us to have healthy and fulfilling relationships, careers, goals and many other areas of our lives.
Now, I know it is certainly not a cop out or an easy option to be a mum but it is sometimes something we can hide behind in order to not get round to doing things we know we should do, or deserve to do or even want to do because we’re too afraid to see if the new ‘mum’ self can still go there. This is one of the reasons why I set up the ‘More than a woman/More than a mum’ Facebook group. We are fully mums and fully women but we are also more than both.
On Tuesday 30th August my band, Sugarfoot, is launching our brand new e.p – ‘Taste‘. I am so excited and so proud on so many levels. This e.p has been a long labour of love for us. It was started before my son was born (at least the writing of the songs was) and we have recorded over the last year through one of the toughest times in my life. Before I became a mother I had a fear that when I did I would have to say goodbye to some of my dreams. I like to do everything I do to my best ability and I just couldn’t see how I’d be able to do both. To a large extent I was right – it’s bloody hard at times! However, here we are about to launch our new e.p and it sounds great. Amazing in fact! It feels like a huge achievement.
On the night of the launch I know I will be feeling like ‘Tonight Matthew, I’m going to step back into my old life’ and I’ll be nervous wondering if I still ‘have it’ and probably feel like a bit of a fraud as well as wondering if there is any of my son’s dinner on my outfit! But, at least I will be there, trying to live the dream. Ok, so life is not as glam as it used to be but with support from our friends and family, some self-belief and simply not settling for second best we can all realise we’re more than a mum and more than a woman!
If you want to help me celebrate this achievement and fancy seeing me strut my stuff and shake my thang, feel free to come to the gig on Tues 30th Aug 2011 at The Bedford, 77 Bedford Hill, Balham, London from 8pm. Free entry and we’ll be selling the e.p for £5.