Being a self-constructed ‘tough cookie’ (I’ve never cried at a film in my life – no, not even Lassie!) I often find myself surprised, embarrassed and annoyed at my inescapable ‘girl-ness’. When you’re a strong woman as I’ve worked hard to be (or at least emulate) softer feelings are deemed as weakness in my sight. Having resolved to not need, want or desire anyone or anything it baffles me that a look, a word or a gesture can chip at the wall I’ve spent years erecting.
This morning, I was pondering all this and why I felt such a failure at feeling like ‘a girl’ at least in the stereotypical sense – and I hate stereotypes! It was then that it hit me, and I think I’ve known this for some time but not dared face it, that these traits are in fact qualities. They are not our weaknesses as women but our unique strengths. In fact, to make a success of anything albeit a career, a project, motherhood, marriage, friendship or a dream, it is imperative that we embrace our ability to ask for help, express our struggles, allow others to step in with their strengths and to risk vulnerability in order to reach those we desire to help most.
Why am I ashamed and embarrassed even at my needing, my yearning, my sometimes loneliness and at generally not being a Superwoman 24/7? Today I’ve had to admit the culprits are fear and pride. These ugly enemies left unchecked will keep us from our dreams or at the very least from peace and contentment. Still, it’s a scary thought to trust, believe and hope even. I think I’ll still wear the Super-woman cape at least part-time for now!