The advantage of being single, having been in a relationship, is you can sit back and analyse and critique every other relationship you observe smugly seeing and stating where they’re going wrong. It is utterly amazing how clearly you can see the mistakes of ‘other’ people: How she nags him for all his short-comings but doesn’t praise his efforts, how he is distracted and unattentive to the small but important things to her, how she is clingy and smothering forcing him away and how he forgets to not take her for granted – each trait and issue perpertuating the other’s insecurity and fear! Suddenly you see what’s really important in a relationshp and all the millions upon millions of things that just really don’t matter. I sometimes want to stand between couples arguing on the station platform and say to the guy, ‘Look, just say sorry mate and mean it’ and to the girl, ‘Accept his apology wholeheartedly. Right, now both of you go enjoy your day and enjoy each other.’
There is so much that doesn’t matter that we make matter in life and especially in relationships. It’s true small issues left unattended can fester and grow into ugly explosions but the point is to not let them – just simply let them go. If you are fortunate enough to have found your special someone then please, for the love of love, hold on to them with all your might. Appreciate them, cherish them, desire them, need them, love them and most of all, Tell them!
From my smug observations here is some advice which might just make things a little easier in love for some:
Young Stallion Man – You may think you have all the time in the world and all the choice in the world. The reality is by time you’ve realised the ‘perfect’ woman does not exist you’ll be remembering all the ‘perfect for yous’ you passed up in order to keep your options open. When you meet someone special, recognise it and hold on to her.
Young Christian Girl (desperate to get married) – In contrast to YSM (see above) you may not have all the time in the world but you have way more than you’re thinking girlfriend. Take your time! Don’t marry the first man you think you love before your teens are even out and before you’ve grown into the woman you’re going to be – The one that knows what she really wants in life and in a man.
Male or female bored in your marriage – Look at your partner with the eyes of your youth. Many a girl/boy may turn your head and sometimes seem a more exciting option but can they really know you, love you, understand you like the person that stands before you and has journeyed with you thus far? Cherish them and spice things up a bit!!
Heart-broken girl – dare to hope.
Heart-broken boy – dare to trust.
Guys, if you’ve been a twat: Two things (after you’ve apologised of course) 1) Make her laugh 2) make her feel beautiful = sorted!
Girls, if he’s been a twat: 1) Let it go – don’t be in a moody for days 2) Give him space and smile – have fun and stop worrying!
Guys, if she’s being possessive, recognise she’s insecure so when you’re with her have your full attention on her – she’ll be much more freeing next time you want to go out.
Girls, if you’re feeling insecure recognise it could be your issue and not to do with anything he is or isn’t doing – it doesn’t always mean he doesn’t love you.
A key to relationships is to understand that ultimately girls want to be loved and guys want to be respected.
Open and honest communication is the route to breakthrough and always putting the other one first. And remember, NEVER take your soul-mate for granted they don’t come by very often. And that’s it. Simple eh?
There are we all feeling better now? That’s just about put the world to right and now I’m off to buy myself some Lindt balls and white roses – my faves 🙂